


Far From the Crowd

by Inori



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Country & Western, Developing Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-19 01:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4726979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inori/pseuds/Inori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In fact it is just a love story, starting from a small town far from the crowd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm no native speaker of English, so if there is any mistake in vocabulary or grammar please leave comment and let me know.  
> Thank you and hope you enjoy this story!

1  
James woke up in a cabin.  
His last impression was still wandering on the burning hot country road; he could smell from his clothes the burned smell of his skin. Now it was proved that the so-called super soldier was still human. Seven days of marching in the sun without food or water could still cause trauma.

Clearly the owner of this cabin found him on the road, and dragged him home. He sat up and looked around. It was a tiny log cabin, furnished with the most basic furniture, namely a bed, a chair, a three-legged table and a shabby closet, nothing else. On the table there was a tool case indicating the owner of this house worked as a repairer or a plumber. Judging from dozens of beer bottles in the garbage can, he was definitely not leading a very heathy life.  
The door was opened, a thin man limped in. There were massive burning scars on his face, stretching all the down into his collar. The man has been through some tough fight; certainly he was a real soldier, like James himself. A soldier could always recognize another one.  
The man casted an indifferent glance on him, and said with hoarse voice, “Good to see you are awake. Now get up to your feet and get out of my house.”  
James was shocked by his unfriendly words. He looked at the man and smiled, tried very hard to recall his charming smile that had successfully attracted many girls back in the 1930s. However, after 70 years, his incredible charming smile only earned a frown.  
“My name is James. May I know your name?”  
“You don’t need to know. You’ll never see me again.” The man rolled his eyes, didn’t even bother to hide his impatience. James looked into his eyes and insisted, “I think it is important to know the name of the person who saved my life.”  
“My name is Rumlow, Brock Rumlow.”After a long while the man replied, stared at him with a mysterious expression. For a second James was not sure whether he saw some deep pain in those amber eyes.  
“Now you know my name, get out.”  
Rumlow pulled something out of the paper bag, and threw them to James. They were a pack of biscuits and a bottle of milk. James held them with his metal arm and stood up. To his surprise Rumlow didn’t pay any attention to his arm. He just opened the door, and waited impatiently for James to get out of his home.  
“The nearest bus station is 3 miles southeast, and the next bus to town is on 6pm. If you go now you can still catch it.”  
Before James could say anything, he closed the door with a loud bang. 

In the Middle West where people were few and lands were plentiful, there were uncountable towns like this. The modern high tech had never managed to conquer this land. There was no access to Internet, no cellphones and no trains. Several telephones were in police office, post office and grocery store. Radio seemed to be the only way for the residence to know the world outside; James doubted that some of them didn’t even know who the president was.  
James fell in love with this town on first sight. As the unfortunate guy who had been tortured by all kinds of crazy technology product for most of the 70 years, the town was a paradise designed exclusively for him. Here he didn’t need to hide from the CCTV camera because there was no camera on the street at all; nor did he need to worry about that anyone would recognize him, for the residences here Captain America and his fellow Bucky was just a hero from comic books that their grandparents used to read. It was the perfect place for hiding. He couldn’t find a better one. James stood at the bus station watching it came and left, and made up his mind.  
He was tired of running aimlessly from one place to another; lingering like a ghost escaping from hell. He would stay in this small town for a while for rest.  
However, if he wanted to stay, first he needed a job.

Later that night, when Rumlow opened his door again, he saw the stranger he saved earlier today sitting in front of his door, like a huge dog discarded by his owner.  
“What’s wrong with you? You don’t understand English or you can’t read?”  
James raised his head to look at him; under the gloomy light he looked so innocent and honest. “I have nowhere to go.”  
James didn’t know why he would confess this to a man he knew just for hours and who obviously didn’t like him at all. He had a strong instinct that Rumlow was far much better than he intended to show up. He was the kind of person who talked cruelly but did gentle deeds. He believed almost blindly that Rumlow wouldn’t close the door and turn him down.  
After a long silence Rumlow turned away and walked slowly back into the house, leaving the door open. James stayed still in uncertainty, till Rumlow ordered impatiently.  
“Get in. Are you waiting for an invitation letter in silver plate?”  
James smiled to his ears. Immediately he jumped to his feet and followed the man in.

“I can work for you.” When they were dining together, James started advertising himself, “As you can see, I’m strong. I can dismantle a truck with my bare hands, and kill a bear all by myself.”  
“My work doesn’t need to dismantle trucks or kill bears.” Rumlow rolled his eyes and refused without a second thought. James, feeling a little hurt by his words, looked straightly at him and replied, “But you can’t carry a bag of flour home by yourself.”  
All of a sudden silence overwhelmed the warm and cozy atmosphere. James knew he shouldn’t have said that, he would do almost anything to go back to 5 minutes before and stop himself from speaking. Guilty washed over him. He tried to amend it and apologize, but before he could say anything, Rumlow smiled bitterly, “Yeah, you are right. I almost forget I’m a goddamned cripple now.”  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”  
“OK, you can stay here and work for me.” Rumlow stopped his apology, and ordered, “But first thing first, I won’t pay you anything. If that’s fine for you, get up at 6am tomorrow.”  
James nodded without any hesitation. There was a big and warm smile on his face, bright and warm like sunshine. Rumlow frowned at his eagerness, but didn’t say anything.


	2. Chapter 2

2  
Rumlow led an extremely regular life.  
He got up at 6am every day, drove his secondhand track to the town half a mile away and started his work as a repairer, for almost everything that needed to be repaired. Usually he would work till 6pm and drive back home, if there were troublesome tasks, he would work to 8pm or even later. It seemed that he didn’t come from here nor had he any relatives, but everybody in the town liked him. Husbands would chat with him about tracks and machines, housewives would invite him for lunch, and kids would ask him to tell stories about his traveling experiences. Even though he hadn’t been living here for long, everybody cared about him.  
Therefore, in that morning, residences of the town found that their repairer got himself an assistant, a handsome young man. He was dedicated and hardworking, carrying several heavy concrete bags at a time like a superhero from comic books. Rumlow seemed to be quite strict to his new assistant, ordering him to do all kinds of tough works. The assistant never complained, as if all those work was just a piece of cake for him.   
“Where did you find him, Rum?” When they finished repairing Mr.Smiths’ old track, the old man asked in curiosity, “He can handle 4 man’s work all by himself!”   
James turned to them on hearing this, and smiled a bright smile like sunshine in the coast. Rumlow could hear some young ladies grasping sharply and screaming; he turned around and saw there were several girls standing by the other side of road and smiling at them. He rolled his eyes and commented: “On the other hand, he causes 4 times as much trouble.”  
And Rumlow had a precise presentiment, especially on bad things.

Gossips always sprat as fast as light in such a small town. In the noon all of the female in this town knew that Rumlow’s new assistant was single and available. Old ladies were planning to introduce their cousin’s or friends’ or cousin’s friends’ daughter to him; and girls were talking about inviting him to parties. When they finished repairing the roof of Mrs Jones’ house, the old lady invited them to stay for lunch as usual. Rumlow didn’t refuse, so James smiled warmly and thanked her. The old lady shyly walked away as if she was suddenly regained her adolescence, and totally forgot introducing her granddaughter to him. 

As you can imagine, James became the most welcomed guest among old ladies. Every day after work, he would get some gift from those old ladies, ranging from homemade marmalade, cookies to gloves and scarves. Several days later, Rumlow was angry finding that his closet was occupied completely by tons of colorful knitwear - a trophy showing how popular James was now.  
“What the hell is all that?” Rumlow asked angrily, turning his eyes away from the over colorful knitwear. James was entering the room with another bag of hand-made cookies; he looked at the closet and answered: “They are gifts from the old ladies, boss. It’s getting cold and I think we really need that.”  
James grinned proudly like a huge dog waiting for applause. Rumlow rolled his eyes, and replied coldly, “Get rid of them. I don’t have spare room for your lovers’ souvenirs.”  
James frowned a little, and protested: “It’s impolite to throw gift away.”  
Rumlow smiled derisively. He found a big paper box and threw all the knitwear into it. James stood by and watched in disappointment. He knew he had no right to blame Rumlow for this, but still he felt angry about it. The old ladies were kind and friendly, they treated him as human being rather than a weapon or monster. When chatting with them he felt so relaxed, like he was back to 70 years again, when there was no war, no assassin mission, and he still had a bright future ahead.   
“Come.” He was interrupted by Rumlow, who crumbly walked out with that big box in his arms, “Orphans in the church will need them.”  
For a minute James was too shocked to make any reaction. When they drove outside, he smiled ear to ear all the way to church.

There was only one church in this tiny town, which located in the center. The Father was an old but energetic man, who along with the mocks and sisters took care of more than 20 orphans and homeless men there. The Father thanked them for the kind donation, and invited them to listen to a holy song from the choir of orphans. James was glad to accept the invitation, while Rumlow, clearly it wasn’t the first time that he got invited, had already been surrounded by a school of over-excited children.  
“Well, I guess the choir has to be canceled.” The Father smiled warmly, watching the orphans drug Rumlow to a long table, and urged him to start telling stories.  
It turned out that, apart from all types of fixing works in town, Rumlow was also a part-time tutor here, teaching geology and history. He was quite popular among kids, who cheered on top of their lungs on seeing him, as if he was the superhero from comic books.   
James stood side by side with the Father, and listened to Rumlow talking about geology in the Middle East and Balkan Peninsula. His narration was vivid and clear to detail, no doubt he had actually been to all those places, and had seen the sea and mountains with his own eyes.  
James wondered what kind of soldier would be sent to world’s most chaotic countries so frequently; then he realized he himself was just the kind of soldier: a mercenary dealing with all kinds of dirty jobs.  
This realization created a fierce headache, like an icy nail thrusting inside his head. Quickly he turned his eyes away, as if escaping from the most unpleasant memories.   
There he met a little girl, who seemed to stand next to him for a long time. The girl watched him in silence, with her big blue eyes shining brighter than the most precious germs. James kneeled down, forced himself to smile gently, and asked in soft voice: “What can I do for you, little lady?”  
The girl shook her head, and hand her teddy bear to him.   
“You look so sad. Mr. Bear can help you.”  
A déjà vu hit him, as if somebody had treated him like that before. He remembered he used to have a teddy bear, with stupid red star on its left arm. Actually the teddy bear companied him for quite a long time. Every time he woke up he could see that stupid bear right in his hand, which was quite strange in such a inhumane cold underground lab, yet nobody even say anything about that. James didn’t know what happened to his teddy bear, nor could he remember who gave it to him. It disappeared the last time he woke. Maybe it was destroyed and buried in one of the bases, just like the rest of Hydra, and his dark old life.   
“Thank you, sweetheart, I’m fine now.” Said James, returning the teddy bear to her, “I’m happy living here.”  
He was happy living here, with a mysterious ex-soldier who pretended to be a tyrant, but was in fact caring and warm-hearted. He never talked elegantly nor did he treat James gently, but James felt very comfortable living with him, even more comfortable than being with the Avengers. He liked this town, liked the people living here, and most importantly, he liked his “bad-guy” landlord.   
He raised his eyes to Rumlow, who had finished his tutorship and happened to look at James too. There was a strange look on his face, as if he was gazing at someone he loved with all his life, and hated as much.  
James was surprised by that look, but before he could say anything, Rumlow turned back to the children. Till they drove back to their cabin, he didn’t mention a single word about that.


	3. Chapter 3

3  
October came in company with a sudden drop of temperature and countless cold rains.  
James didn’t know why Rumlow had chosen such a place to live. Obviously the cold weather here did nothing good to his wounds. Since the end of September he was tortured by irregular pains from almost everywhere. James had spotted him ruthlessly grabbing and hitting his knees in midnight, trying to distract himself from the severe pain. His limb worsened, every morning he could hardly make it to the bathroom by himself. But such a proud man he was, Rumlow never showed any sign of weakness, never did he ask for help. So James decided to pretend never noticing this, in respect of his pride; even though he stayed up all night with Rumlow when those pains kept him awake, listened quietly with heartache to him moaning in hoarse voice; even though he had to count seconds till dawn. 

Today they got a very urgent job. Yesterday’s thunderstorm destroyed Mrs. Jones’ roof. It was forecast that a much heavier rain would continue within 24 hours; therefore they had to repair the roof before that. It was not an easy job, given the condition that the rain never truly stopped, and the temperature dropped near zero.   
Rumlow sat on top of the roof, paving water-proof materials and hammering them. The strong wind kept roaring and pouring icy cold rains into his collar, he shivered too badly to hold the hammer. When the hammer dropped for the fourth time, James grabbed Rumlow’s arm and shouted at him, his voice was nearly torn apart by the storm: “Get down, Rumlow, it’s too dangerous!”  
Of course Rumlow didn’t listen to him. He cast an angry glance at James and shouted back: “Shut the fuck up and give me the hammer!”  
The work continued since Brock Rumlow was stubborn and tough and never listened to kind suggestions. Before 8pm they finally finished the repairing. Mrs. Jones was very grateful to their hard work and invited them to have a hot meal to warm up. James refused with gloomy face. He knew it was impolite to reject the offer from a kind old lady, but he just couldn’t move his eyes away from Rumlow, whose face was as pale as ghost, and whose legs were shivering as if they would crash in any second. Rumlow was too exhausted to say anything in objection. In fact he could hardly keep conscious because of cold and pain. James walked silently with Rumlow back to their truck, carefully controlled his pace so that Rumlow could catch up with him without difficulty. They remained complete silence all the way back to their cabin. It rained heavily outside, making the cabin cold and humid. Rumlow murmured something in complain and limped slowly to the bathroom. In the gloomy light he looked so fragile and miserable, like a discarded broken weapon. James watched him entering the bathroom and frowned, but didn’t say anything nor offer any help. Thanks to his strengthened hearing he could illustrate everything that was happening behind the door. Rumlow opened the shower, his hand shook so badly that he couldn’t open the shampoo bottle. He dropped the soap, cursed in low voice and tried to pick it up, but his kneels were too painful to manage this task, he fell down   
All of a sudden, James felt he couldn’t pretend he didn’t care about it anymore. He run to the bathroom and opened the door by force, dragged the tough guy into a tight embrace. His clothes got complete wet in less than a minute. It would be troublesome afterwards, but right now he didn’t want to think about it at all. He just wanted to hold the old man into his arms, nothing was more important than that.  
“You fucking crazy fool.” James tightened his arms and groaned painfully, deep inside the heartache was so serious as if his heart was torn into pieces, “Fucking stubborn idiot.”  
“Shut up scout.” Rumlow whispered in low and tiring voice. He would have said more in irony if he wasn’t that exhausted. But now he just looked at James with a strange look that James had never seen before, as if his self-control was wore out by suffering. He sighed and smiled. It was such an affectionate smile that at one second James couldn’t even breathe.  
“You just won’t let me go.”  
Then Rumlow kissed him, in a way that he had never been kissed before. It was hot but desperate, as if it was the last kiss in his life. This idea panicked James fatally and he kissed back as hard, with his hand caressing eagerly from Rumlow’s neck all the way down to his waist. He could feel countless scars under his hands, indicating how many pains the old repairer had been through. The old repairer turned out to be quite good at this, he skillfully pressed his leg between James’, scratching the most sensitive part. James moaned in a way that surprised them both. They parted for a second, Rumlow smiled teasingly at him, which ignited his desire and burned down the last piece of his self-control. He picked Rumlow up by the knees and sealed all protests between their lips.  
They finally made it to reach bed without breaking their bones or any furniture. It was not as easy as it sounded since they kept kissing all the way. James had little idea about what he was doing, his last date was almost 70 years ago and he had never dated a man before. He paused when they hit the mattress, looking at Rumlow nervously. Inside the amber eyes he saw nothing but only affection, so he leaned down and kissed every scar he could reach. Rumlow moaned and tried to avoid this sweet torture, but unfortunately, his resistance was too weak to gain notice from James.  
He spent ten minutes preparing Rumlow for his entering, the maximum he could afford. He made a deep breath and pressed Rumlow onto his shoulder, whispered in low voice.  
“Bite me when you feel pain, as hard as you want.”  
Rumlow smiled, stretching his legs around his waist, for a second James felt his heart beating so wildly that it hurt.   
“Try me, dear.” The man whispered in his ear, and next second the whisper turned into moans.  
James thrusted in with a wild movement, moaned for the warmth inside. To be honest the old repairer was nothing close to the type he used to adore. He was tough, stubborn and hard to get along with, not to mention the horrible scars stretching all over his body. However, James was so excited that he could hardly control his power, which resulted in many bruises on Rumlow’s waist, collar bones and thighs. Desire was burning inside and urging him to thrust harder and faster, until they couldn’t be apart anymore.   
“I love you.”  
The three words slid out of his lips, smoothly and naturally. James was very certain that he had never fallen in love with any male in his entire life. But the words just came out so smoothly, as if he had been thinking of it dozens of times, and had been longing for this moment for years.  
Rumlow seemed to be shocked by his confession, all desire and eagerness disappeared in a flash as if they never existed. James felt a little bit uncomfortable at his silence, he leaned down and tried to kiss his lover, but this time, Rumlow turned his head.  
“Take it easy, soldier. It’s just a one night stand.” Rumlow smiled indifferently, with an empty and cold look on his face, “Don’t make it complicated.”  
For a second James was too astounded to make any reaction. He stared at Rumlow in disbelief. The man was naked with bruises and kiss marks all over his body, but his eyes were cold and cruel, as if all that happened minutes before was a crazy dream of James.   
Never in his life had James felt so humiliated, he pulled out and stared at the man, asked in low and threatening voice: “What do you mean?”  
“I mean don’t take it too seriously, scout.” Rumlow said impatiently, “Get off my bed if you don’t want sex.”  
That was too much. James sat up, dragged his clothes and rushed out, closed the door behind him with a loud bang. He ran away as fast as he could, for fear of killing Rumlow with bare hand if he heard that cold words again.


	4. Chapter 4

4  
James lay down on the haystack in a barn, about 20 miles away from Rumlow’s cabin. He stared at the ceiling pointlessly, just to find something to distract himself. He didn’t want to sleep at all, for the passing 70 years he had had enough sleep and nightmares. Even today he still had the illusion that everything would disappear next time he woke up. Doctor Banner said it was PTSD, very common for soldiers who suffered from serious wound. The avengers accepted that diagnosis and never blamed him for breaking walls or trying to attack them without any reason. Among them Steve got the most attack, but he treated James with incredible patience and tolerance. He called him Bucky, talked about their old days like they were just apart for 70 days rather than 70 years. He always believed that James would recover from all this mental injuries and become Bucky again. He kept bringing foods and drinks that Bucky used to be fond of, decorating James’ room in the 40s’ style, and offering sightseeing tours to Brooklyn where they grew up together. James tried his best to pretend everything was fine, fight against the instinct of thrusting his MKII into Steve’s belly every time Steve patted his shoulder without any warning.  
He knew this peaceful life couldn’t last long. He couldn’t become the Bucky Steve used to know, winter soldier wasn’t just a nightmare, and all the dirty missions he took were real. He had killed so many people but he couldn’t even remember any of their faces. How could he sit in the tower of heroes, chatting with them as if nothing had happened, as if he wasn’t the best murder machine of Hydra?   
So he ran away, without informing anyone in the Avenger’s team. He couldn’t take a commercial plane since the Avengers could easily track him down by checking boarding records, nor he could use his credit card. He bought a ticket to the Middle West where lands were plentiful while surveillance cameras were not; and started his exile with bare foot when he ran out of cash.   
When he woke up in the cabin, he thought he found a place where he could finally find a peaceful corner, and later someone who he loved and who loved him as much. The first kiss in the bathroom was like a fountain in dessert, which was so fascinating that he couldn’t help but to fall. However, it turned out to be nothing but illusion. The indifferent smile on Rumlow’s face was like an icy sword cutting straightly inside his heart, with no mercy or affection. He heard Zola’s laugh echoing, with malice and cruelty, like an inevitable curse.  
There was no happy ending in real world. How could a killer with so much blood on his hands deserve to be loved?  
He closed his eyes and cried voicelessly, for everything and everyone that had been robbed of him, and for all the life that he had taken in the passing 70 years. 

Back in the cabin, Rumlow’s old wound hit back. He rolled back and forth for comfort, but deep inside he knew clearly that there wasn’t any comfort at all. This pain, along with all the other inconvenience that resulted from the accident 8 months before, would follow him for the rest of his life, like a curse that he could never get rid of. So he stopped resisting, stared at the ceiling with a faint bitter smile and let the pain overwhelm him. It was going to be a long night, he had enough time to recall all his secret.  
For almost 20 years, Rumlow had been in love with someone who didn’t even know what love meant. Someone who was treated as weapon, and treated everyone as weapon in return. That man was called the Winter Soldier, a super soldier who was strong enough to fight against an army, but fragile enough that even a fragment of memory could make him crash. As leader of Strike Rumlow had spent the better part of his career working as Winter’s assistant, he was the closest man to Winter, yet the gray-eyed super soldier was never able to remember his name. At first Rumlow comforted himself that it was the side effect of brainwashing. Winter couldn’t remember his own name, nor anything that could identify him as human being, Rumlow’s name was less important than all of that, he shouldn’t be bothered that much.  
But then Winter met Captain America, ironically, he recognized him at first sight.  
“I knew him.” The Winter Soldier insisted, so certain his words were that Rumlow could feel nothing but heartache. Deep inside he felt he was betrayed. It turned out the brainwashing machine was nothing but a joke, after thousands of times of washing, it never managed cleaning any memory that James cherished. It could only wash away the least important ones, like Hydra and its arrogant goal of ruling the world, like Rumlow and his secret affection.  
Rumlow didn’t expect to survive the fight against Captain America. He had pessimistically foreseen the failure of Hydra: Winter Soldier would recognize Captain America and turn against them, fight with his best friend again and kill all villains, just like the old days. But God had never listened to poor Rumlow’s pray. He ended up lying in hospital bed for half a year, merely survived with countless scars and a limped leg. When he could move himself out of the ward he decided it was time to retire. Later he found himself a place where there was no Hydra or superheroes, and settled here as a repairman.  
He thought it would be the end, dying in this little town that no one knew his name would be the best ending he could find for himself. Then he found James, with the same face he was so fond of, but an unfamiliar smile that could never be seen on Winter’s face. He asked Rumlow for his name, without even the slightest impression that they had been fighting together for the last 20 years. So Rumlow laughed, in that second he was sure his lover was gone, this time, forever.  
“You know nothing.” Rumlow whispered, to the big-eyed super soldier who would never reply any of his confession, and to the warm-smiled young man who offered love that he couldn’t afford.

Next morning James was wakened by the noise of Quinjet. His best friend stood outside the barn, looking worriedly at him. James didn’t show any sign of surprise. He knew he couldn’t hide for the rest of his life, but it did surprise him a little that Steve could find him in such a short time. So he asked directly, watching his best friend blush at his question.  
“There is a tracking chin inside your left arm. I asked Tony to plant it in the first time he offered you repair.” Steve paused for the guilty feeling of spying his best friend, and he apologized, “I’m sorry for spying you, Bucky. I don’t want to lose you again.”  
Steve looked at him in such a way that made him feel guilty about running away. He could never turn Steve down, no matter in 70 years before or now. He nodded in agreement, when his friend gave him a warm hug he tried hard not to frown.   
“I will go back with you.” Finally he answered, smiled at his friend in the most Bucky-style, “Sorry for the mess, buddy.”  
Steve was obviously very satisfied with his answer, he smiled all the way back to Quinjet. Before he started the engine, he turned to James and asked.  
“Do you have anyone to say goodbye with? We are not in a hurry.”  
At first James thought he should go back to the cabin and say goodbye to Rumlow, but then the cold smile of Rumlow hit him fatally. Rumlow would feel relieved getting rid of him, sooner the better.  
After a while he shook his head, without even looking back again at the cabin where he thought would be heaven just 3 months before, and closed his eyes when the small town disappeared in the dust.


	5. Chapter 5

5  
He joined the Avengers, and regrouped with his best friend Steve. Captain America was more than happy that he could fight with his Bucky once more. He asked James to join their mission the second day he got confirmation from Dr. Banner that James was recovered both physically and mentally. Their first mission was to attack a newly found Hydra base. According to the intelligence they’ve collected, it was a training base for Hydra’s Special Forces, no intensive resistance was expected. Actually it was an entry-level mission compared to those that the Avengers used to take; therefore the briefing meeting was quite relaxing.   
“I can handle it by myself.” After glancing over the information, James said to Steve. Steve frowned in disagreement and rejected: “You can never be careful enough dealing with Hydra, Bucky. Those agents were well experienced in fighting against super soldiers.”  
Ironman chipped in and joked: “Yeah, you’d better listen to uncle Rogers, dude. He got the experience with great pain, literally, great pain. Jarvis, who was the idiot to prefer fighting alone rather than calling his teammate for help?”  
“At that time I thought the strike could be counted on.” Steve blushed and defended, “I didn’t expect Rumlow worked for Hydra…”  
He was interrupted by the noise of glass breaking.   
James stared at them with a horrible look on his face, and the broken glass in his mental hand. He asked with hoarse voice: “What’s his name?”  
Steve looked at him, a little bit surprised he would ask about this, but still he answered: “He was registered as Brock Rumlow in SHIELD’s file, but we don’t know if it’s his real name… What’s wrong, Buck?”  
James had rushed out of the kitchen before he finished the question.

It took little time to find out who Rumlow really was. After all, the ex-leader Strike didn’t even bother to use an alias. It was so dull of him never to think of the possibility. Anyway, for so many years in the Hydra, James never bothered to remember Striker’s leader’s name.  
James stared at the photo of Rumlow. He looked unbelievably young and handsome with no scars on his face, his amber eyes shined like the brightest stars in the sky. James could hardly link this face with the repairman’s, even though he had lived with him for more than 3 months.  
Steve knocked on the door and asked worriedly: “Is everything OK, Buck?”  
James switched his tablet off and opened the door. He forced himself to smile brightly, but this time, even Steve noticed he wasn’t happy at all.

That night he dreamed of the dark days of Winter Soldier again, dreamed of the cold and humid underground lab where they put him into hibernation. Someone approached him and stared at him in silence, he could hardly see the face in such a gloomy room. But the man didn’t seem to do any harm to him, in fact he felt somewhat familiar.   
The man sighed and leaned down, whispered in low voice.  
“Goodbye, my love, let’s hope I can survive till you wake up again.”  
He put something inside James’ hand, something fluffy and warm. James noticed it was a teddy bear, the one that had companied him for a long time. The man turned around and left, he turned back to James when he opened the door, in the cold blue light outside James finally identified his face, it was Rumlow, the missing Hydra agent, the assistant of Winter Soldier, and his beloved repairman.

James woke up with unbearable shock, his heart beating so fast that it hurt almost fatally. His room was warm and cozy like his old home in Brooklyn, but he still felt cold, as if he was discarded into the underground lab again.   
He remembered once the Father of the small town had told him about Rumlow’s wife,   
He loved the woman with all his life, after her death he gave up his job and exiled himself to this place far from anything he used to be familiar to, just to avoid anything that could remind him of her.  
Now he knew there was never a “she”, it was always him, or precisely, it was Winter Soldier. Rumlow had been in love with someone who never managed to remember his name for so many years. How could James consider him as heartless?  
He recalled that day in the church, when he caught Rumlow gazing at him with an expression he’d never seen. The expression he had mistaken as hate turned out to be deep affection, so deep that it hurt.   
James stood up, put on his clothes and grabbed the key of Steve’s motorcycle. Minutes later he rushed out of the Avenger Tower, Tony’s invisible housekeeper asked him to leave a message to the team. The only thing he could think of was “I lost my heart in that town”. He would be laughed at by the rest of Avengers for next months, but right now, he could think nothing but flying back to the small town.

Rumlow shut the engine down and got off the truck, walking slowly without even raising his head to look around. It was 9pm already, and he was too tired to stay alarmed. Without his super soldier assistant the work burden became so heavy that he could merely manage. Maybe he should think of recruiting a new assistant, a smart boy who didn’t have metal arm and doggy eyes…  
Rumlow stopped in front of his cabin, his eyes wildly opened in disbelieve. In front of his door sat his super soldier assistant who should be with the Avengers already. James raised his head and smiled anxiously at him. It was just like 3 months before, when James suddenly jumped into his new life, with the expression of a discarded dog on his face, begging to stay and live with him.  
James stood up, walked towards Rumlow and took the paper bag from Rumlow. He decided not to confess that he remembered who Rumlow was right now, in case his cold-hearted landowner kicked him out. So he smiled in apologize, as if he had just run away to calm himself down. Rumlow didn’t say anything, he stayed motionless for a while, and then opened the door and let James in. After closing the door, he turned around to James, with a sharp look on his face.   
“So, why are you coming back, James Buchanan Barnes?”  
Those three words killed every excuse he could make up of.  
“I-I remember the teddy bear you gave me.” After a long pause he started awkwardly, “I remember you called me...”  
Judging from Rumlow’s reaction, obviously he chose the worst topic. James stopped halfway, thinking helplessly to change the topic, but in the end, the only thing that jumped on his tone was apology.   
“I’m terribly sorry for not remembering it sooner.”  
“It doesn’t matter, not anymore.” Rumlow stood up, with that indifferent smile on his face, “You are not him, never will you be.”  
James frowned for the bitterness behind those cold words. He walked straightly towards Rumlow, and put his hands on his shoulders. He could feel the sharp shoulder bones under his hands, indicating all the pains the fearless agent had been through.   
“You told me you loved me.”  
Rumlow answered with plain and icy voice: “Ask your buddy Steve, he will tell you what a bloody liar I am.”  
James bit his lower lip and insisted: “I don’t care. I take it for real.”  
For a long time Rumlow didn’t reply. In fact he didn’t show any reflection on hearing this, as if James was talking in an alien language, although his shoulders shook terribly under James’ hands.  
“When I said I loved you, Brock, I meant it.” James closed his eyes, confessed desperately and expected no answer, “It’s not about the memory of Winter Soldier. I love you, since that night you allowed me to stay in your house, since that day you saved my life.”  
James could hardly remember the fighting experience with Rumlow, and he knew for sure that he didn’t have much special feeling about that vague memory. The Rumlow he knew was the repairman who talked rudely but smiled kindly to children and ladies, who insisted on finishing his job in the cold rain even though his old wounds kept tearing him apart. He had fall in love the first day they met in this cabin, with this tough repairman, so deeply in love that he couldn’t imagine a life without him.  
After seemingly eternity Rumlow sighed, putting his hand on James’ flesh one. Scars were stretching all over the skin like some creepy scary tattoo. He was just an tired old repairman, no match for a super soldier.  
“I’m a criminal, and cripple. It’s no good to have any relationship with me, especially you.”  
It was clearly a rejection, but it sounded ten times brighter than anything else in this world. James put his metal hand onto Rumlow’s, and smiled stupidly: “As you can see, me too. What a beautiful coincidence, isn’t it?”  
Rumlow couldn’t hold his laugh anymore; he dragged him close and kissed him, for the first time in so many years, with tears in his eyes.  
“I should have known that your brain was permanently hurt by the freezer.” He murmured to James’ lips, “You fucking stupid scout.”  
“I love you too, Brock.”


End file.
